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Stumble #4: Negative friends and family

Solution: seek what restores you

The people you spend time with at home, at work and in social circles contribute to your emotional and physical health, experts say. That’s no idle gossip: A 2014 study published in the journal Neurology links high levels of negativity to an increased risk of dementia.

It’s easy to get pulled into negativity, says pediatric psychologist Eileen Twohy, PhD, of Children's Hospital Colorado. “There is a certain level of satisfaction that comes from negative conversations, gossip and complaining,” she says. “But over time, this leads into patterns of negativity that don’t point in a healthy direction.”

One of the best ways to know if you are stuck in a negative cycle is to go on vacation and see the difference in your body and attitude. Are you suddenly getting good sleep? Do you feel less tension in your body? Once you experience that wake-up call, it’s important to find ways to relax and replenish positive energy, she says.

“Children are particularly good at doing this,” says Twohy. “We can all learn how to be more playful and surround ourselves with people who are uplifting and life-giving.”

Because you cannot pick your family, balance a negative day with something positive, she says. This can be going out to walk your dog, exercising or listening to music, she says. “For me, it’s karate, talking to loved ones or playing with kids.” Meditation and yoga can also balance and dissipate negative emotions.